What do you make of friends? Are they the family you choose for yourself? Are they the ones you turn to when family or at least the semblance of family that society thrusts upon you to embrace fails you? Are they the only ones who will ever know you and still love you for who you are, unmasking the many faces that you put on yourself for the rest of the world? What when these friends themselves fail you? What remains? So is the only person you can truly trust and count on is yourself? I have before me today those two round pieces of the spectacles of cynicism. Perhaps the stories that I see around me everyday has made me cynical. Or maybe it’s the relationships that I don’t see surrounding me. Or maybe this is just the passing of a teenage idealism that the world is actually a nice place to live in.
I do not any answers. Questions are in plenty but that eternal search of every human who stops to think awhile has really been to understand why life is such, isn’t it? To find the elusive meaning of life, to understand where exactly we are heading. Can the “I” really be defined without the rest of “them” or the “Us”? Can my story be just mine without any other lives in it? When I talk about myself, can it be only about “me”? These are not questions that arise out of the last dregs of an amber-coloured drink on a cold rainy evening, not answers I seek to fill in the gaps between the things I do during my days. I don’t drink. Or have the luxury of time to think. These have just, off late, become questions that have begun to take centre stage in my relationships. How much can I give? How much can I meet up to? Why exactly? How? The entire gamut of the 5 Ws and the 1 H that we learn in journalism school.
The more I go on, the more questions crop up. Answers are what I would prefer, but then again, I am not one of those fortunate ones who can really think of the situation they are in and conclude in very straight lines how they got there and why exactly they are there in the first place. But I suppose it would be rather preposterous of me to think that anything in life is easy in the first place.
In other updates:
* I watched Rock On today. The verdict: EXCELLENT (though I wish I had watched it some other day when I was in some other mood.) Farhan Akthar should do us all a favour and act more. Luke Kenny is ok but looks hot. Purab Kohli: Cute! And Arjun Ramphal: Oh My God!! Greek God! Hot! I can only write with exclamations! Long hair on men, please may it come back into fashion. Ramphal walks on stage, hair flying, a guitar in hand, the drool factor cannot have shot up higher.
* Just finished reading Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan’s ‘You Are Here’, a total time-pass read. Though I must say, some parts of the book was really insightful into modern lives.
* That said, I notice that movies are getting more real by the day, moving away from the total make belief and overdose of fantasy. Life in a Metro, I remember was really good. And now Rock On rocks.
* Down with a cold. Got expensive hair treatment, looks great though. :-)