Envy

Cross posting from here:

I dreadfully envy people who are complacent, you know. Because only when there is a want, a desire, a passion, that is where restlessness springs up like a Jack rushing out from the box and yelling 'surprise!!' into your ear. I wish I could be freed of this restlessness and be accepting of what life tells me to take. I envy people who go down without a fight and hug to themselves all that the days of their lives rations out to them. In a way, I feel, I would be freed of most miseries if I didn't fight every rule, every diktat, every new surprise and learned to accept my 'lot'.

But then, I imagine that would be a "normal" boring life. And I like the line 'normal is boring' a tad too much to settle for anything less.