Monday, November 12, 2012

Like a Rolling Stone, Now and Then

So where was I? Between work, books and loves of many manner, with thought-worms in the head and fidgety in the feet, I have been keeping these pages at a slight distance. Like a beloved pet, I take it for granted, expecting it will understand when I come back, expecting it will embrace me with the same love again. Presumptuous hasn’t yet bitten my behind; it is the quiet over confidence that I dangerously flirt with. Yet, here I am, again, oftener. Because writing in catharsis. And a lot more else. I am a much nicer person to people in my life when the restlessness is channelized through these words here, now.

Where was I? As I sit here on Deepawali day wholeheartedly cursing the boys on the street for the bombs they are lighting up (how that noise is fun is beyond me), the last few weeks goes by in a flash. I travelled in the North East again, on work though, this time. There was a too short holiday in Wayanad from where, as a souvenir, I brought back an injured hand. It was in those two weeks of absolute rest when I couldn’t type a word that I realized how much I need writing for my sanity, to remain insane. Then there were some emotional ups and lows, the usual, the usual though. Life would be awful, my writing would die if the days were all rosy and pink and happy. *Shudder*

And now where am I? I am in a very happy place right now. And that is not merely because I am writing again. It is more do I put it…that smile I wake up with every morning, that blanket of goodness that envelopes me the rest of the day…that happiness for the world. I don’t remember how long ago it was that I felt anywhere close to this. I like to be a creature of instinct. One day, it felt right, even when it didn't make any sense. It all felt right and I decided not to fight and push and run this time. Happiness was available and I decided I want to take it, in pounds and barrels this time.

Bohemian rhapsody. Storytelling. Neruda (Neruda did it!). Life is good. I smile again.

No comments: